From the bottom of my rotten baby bird heart, I want to THANK my good friend and this week’s guest-host William Beckett. I always knew he was clever, but I didn’t expect to be so inspired by the thoughtfulness and honesty with which he approached your inquiries. To the fans of The Academy Is… Welcome to the Raccoon Society. Stay forever.

“2. FROM Sadie

Q: ?????William, I remember hearing in an interview that you have a slight stutter and lose your words sometimes. I have a stutter (maybe a little worse than yours) and I struggle with it. My friends all tell me it’s cute or funny but to me it just feels like I’m losing a battle with myself. I’ve tried all of the normal tricks (i.e. reading poetry, singing, speaking in rhythm, etc) with minimal success. My parents aren’t willing to spend money on a speech therapist simply because we don’t HAVE the money which is something I don’t want them to have to worry about just so I might be less embarrassed. Do you have any tips/tricks for how to get rid of a stutter or, even, just hide it a little better?

A: Dearest Sadie,

I’m no stranger to the untimely, slave-driving ways of the stutter affliction. In school growing up I would dread being called upon in class to read aloud or field a teacher’s question, and it was rarely because I didn’t know the answer.

One thing I noticed as I went through useless speech classes and agonizing “Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Pepper” alliteration exercises, is that I would find myself struggling with a word that started with a particular letter (like “P” for instance).

The way that I try and get around using certain words when I feel a block coming is to immediately think of a different way to illustrate the word I was intending to use. For example, if I was trying to say “The Fire exit being blocked poses a potential problem…”, to avoid the “P” parade I’d say “The fire exit being blocked could yield unsafe results.”

By dodging problematic words in this fashion, I’ve not only managed to mask my stutter more effectively, but I’ve greatly improved my vocabulary….”

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