i'm sick of writing of these past mistakes because all it results in is me repeating them over and over in the desperate desire to understand where i went wrong.
i starve for situations that make me feel irresponsible and reckless because this constant broken-record schedule is making my ears bleed with the repetition of "work, sleep, work."
this is why they say you have to do what you want to do, you have to find something that you're interested in because you'll be doomed to a future of misery and regret if you let the things you're passionate about float away from you.
i am passionate about describing the expectations, people, and aspirations i fucked-up on the most significantly.
i have set the bar for complete failure, therefore condeming myself to an eternity of unhappiness.
people want certains things in life because those things make them happy.
if what you want is to be upset with the way the world is, are you happy with the world?
this is why i do not watch the news. this is why i do not pay attention in geography.
the world is depressing, no matter how happy you try to be about something in the world, the world will always be depressing.
countries will always be suffering because of hardships, lack of necessary items, or (most commonly) lack of money. people are too greedy to give to those in need, so the homeless stay homeless and the unfortunate stay unfortunate. "relief" is given to some places, but can they every really be relieved? is relief supposed to be overcrowded suburbs that breathe from formaldehyde lungs?
maybe. maybe relief is always determined by industrialization.
if that is ever achieved in the world, if this monster that runs on carbon dioxide poison decides to swallow the world, rest assured that global warming will kill us all.
thank god for that.