she's beautiful in a way that beautiful has never been before, the most mesmerizing color to ever come into existence. pretty stares at this girl from the sidelines and wishes she could be like more like her, but that's because all pretty has is looks. the most captivating thing about this girl is that she never looks - not at me, anyways.
i know that girl is gorgeous on the inside, or she used to be, but she never shows that to me anymore. the memories of my happiest times are the saddest to look back on because they are gone forever. and even more than that, they were only real to me. i could say that her heart was exclusive to me, but it just wouldn't be true because she just wanted someone to pick her up when her pills started to falter. it didn't matter how deep a hole she dug for me, i would push her higher and higher and i would die to do it.
i was sitting in the crowd, watching her living and breathing and doing all these things that just look so much more devine when she's the one performing them. my eyes used to caress the curves of her body; outline her face in the most gentle of ways but now they stay cold and solid; burning with pain but unable to fend off the curiousity of her existence. i get so caught up in the fact that no one else exists in a room full of my fellow graduates when i'm staring at her. i had to stop and remind myself "oh shit, i've got a girlfriend."
she's pretty, but not much more, i'm afraid. she cares, and sometimes i care about her too but mostly it's force thats keeping my hand tightly entangled with hers. because all the fucking shades in my life are teal. only teal.